There are many coaches out there and many different coaching methodologies. The type of coaching that I offer is ‘Causal Coaching’. This means that I treat the cause of my clients’ problem, or the reason why they are not getting what they want in life, and not just the symptoms.
What I mean by that is when a client comes to me because they can’t lose weight, I don’t tell them what to eat, instead I work with them to help them understand why they are overweight in the first place. Of course, on the surface it’s obvious ‘they overeat’, but what we want to understand is why they overeat. Is it because they want to avoid stress or boredom? Is it because they are insulin resistant and their hormones are out of balance? Or is it because their brain is constantly seeking highly refined foods for a dopamine fix?
When a client comes to me with a problem it can be really tempting to want to tell them how to fix it. If they are overwhelmed, I can give them tools to have a structured more organised life but that’s not going to serve them in the long term. With causal coaching I will work with my clients to show them why they are feeling overwhelmed. It’s likely that they will think it’s the circumstances of their life that are creating the overwhelm for them, but my job as their coach is to show them that it isn’t the specifics of their life, it’s how they are thinking and feeling about those specifics.
I show them how they can learn to not feel overwhelmed without changing their job or their relationship or their children. Once the overwhelm is understood I can of course offer suggestions and options for how they could manage their time more effectively, but this is not the same as offering advice or telling my clients what to do. There is no way that I could ever know what’s best for them. Clients have the answers to what’s best and I just show them how to find them.
When a client presents with a problem, I work with them to find the cause. I do that by asking them ‘Why?’ I ask them why they have the problem. I ask them why the problem is indeed a problem. I teach that everything in our life starts with our thinking. Before we ever feel anything in our life, we think it first because all our thoughts cause our emotions. Then those thoughts create feelings which drive our actions.
Often clients will come to me with a behaviour that they want to change, whether they’re doing something they don’t want to be doing, or not doing something that they do want. The first thing that we do is look at why they are doing the current behaviour. They will likely think that they don’t know why and that they just do, and then my role is to help them find the answer. Once they know the cause of their behaviour it is so much easier to change it.
It’s just like if someone were to have an itchy rash. You could treat the rash and the itchiness with antihistamines or cream. And when the rash comes back do the same repeatedly. Or you could explore what could be causing the rash. Is it the washing powder you are using, or something you ate? If you understand the cause you can treat for that and solve the problem permanently.