Weight loss mindset
I can’t lose weight because_________________!
I’ve tried everything and nothing works!
I must be doing it wrong!
A few of you this week have asked me what you (specifically you) need to do to lose weight because you’ve tried everything and nothing’s working.
You’re frustrated and wishing things were different and you’re looking for the answers.
You’re looking for the one thing that’s going to make the difference for you.
And I hear you. I really do.
It’s what I did for 25 years.
And I want you to know that I don’t have the answer.
I don’t have a magic formula and nor does anyone else.
The only person that has the magic formula is you.
What I want to tell you (and you may not appreciate this) is that the answer lies within you.
It’s not our ‘there’ waiting to be found.
The diet industry has been lying to you!
That’s the bad news.
The good news is that every single one of you can find that answer within yourself.
That is my promise to you and it’s 100% the truth.
So why does the answer lie within you?
Firstly, you are the ultimate wisdom on your body and your life. You know more than anyone, what does and doesn’t work for you.
We are all unique. Two women of similar proportion can eat the same foods and take the same exercise and not be the same weight.
Those of you who have thin friends that can eat anything, and everything will know what I’m talking about.
Secondly, and this is the most important.
Weight loss and finding food freedom takes place in your mind.
As Henry Ford said, “whether you think you can, or you whether you think you can’t, you are right”.
If you think nothing will work for you, nothing will work for you.
If you think you’ve tried everything, you won’t find the thing you’ve not tried.
If you think it’s impossible to lose weight because you are menopausal, because you have PCOS, because you have a thyroid imbalance, because you’re short…. it won’t be possible.
If you think you can’t lose weight and keep it off because every time you lost it in the past you regained it…you will regain it again.
When you think these things, when you think the reason you cannot lose weight lies outside of you, what do you feel?
Frustration, shame, sadness, self-pity?
How do you show up in your life when you feel these negative emotions?
Do you feel inspired to prepare a healthy salad, do you feel excited at the prospect at loving yourself through the process of finding the right way to eat that’s right for you….no matter how long it takes?
You’re more likely to be restricting your food in a bid to lose weight as quickly as possible, and then eating to comfort yourself when you don’t.
Now…when you have had a lifetime of seeking the answer. When you’ve had years of yo-yo dieting frustration and shame it’s not easy to pause and start to look within yourself.
It’s not easy to commit to loving yourself without condition so that you can shift to thinking….
It doesn’t matter how long it takes me to lose weight, what matters is the steps I take towards long term well-being today.
It’s possible that I can stop desiring biscuits and cake and learn to desire taking care of me more.
This is the work; this is the transformation that I help clients find.
So, if you’ve read the post this far, first congratulations for staying with me… and ask yourself.
What can I do today to take care of me?
What can I do today to nourish and fuel my body?
Write down your answers, and then ask the same questions of tomorrow.
Decide today what you will do tomorrow.
Then ask yourself, ‘how do I want to feel in order to do these things?’
Then ask yourself, ‘what can I think to feel that way?’
Maybe tomorrow you are due to go out to a local restaurant with friends. Look at the menu right now and decide what’s the best thing to eat for your long-term well-being.
You may notice that your old thinking shows up…these may be thoughts that create feelings of self-pity and deprivation…such as ‘it’s not fair that I can’t eat what I really want’.
That’s no fun.
Instead when you choose the salad or the fish with roast vegetables, or whatever it is that you know is best for you. Ask yourself how you want to feel about eating what you’ve chosen. Maybe you want to feel self-love, or confident in your decision, or focused on the new lifestyle you are creating for yourself.
And then ask yourself, what do I need to think in order to feel that way.
So if you want to feel confident in your decisions, you may tell yourself ‘I can eat healthily and enjoy going out with friends on a Saturday night’…which is great if you believe it.
But maybe you don’t.
In which case you may try something like, ‘I am learning to eat healthily when I got out with friends on a Saturday night’ or ‘I am practicing how to eat healthily when I go out with friends on a Saturday night’.
Be willing to experiment and practice intentional thinking.
Be willing to be curious if you don’t see what I’m showing you right away.
Be willing to be patient, it takes time.
And one last thing.
Should you find yourself suddenly eating dessert at the restaurant, or not doing whatever it was you set out to do, don’t beat yourself up.
Ask yourself, ‘why?’ with curiosity and compassion.
Ask yourself what you can do differently next time.
Find the peace and acceptance within yourself of knowing that you will take this one step at a time.
You are not in a rush to get a certain number on the scale.
You are all in for embarking on a journey of self-discovery and self-love.
You are willing to explore that just maybe the answers lie within you.
Have an amazing weekend.