When my coach told me that the reason, I was so busy was because I was ‘slopping in my time management’, and that when I told her ‘I don’t have enough time’ that I was lying, I felt a bit affronted. She said that I didn’t need to be so ‘busy’ that I just needed to manage my time better.
The idea that the problem with my busyness was me, and not all the things that I had to do, was a bitter pill to swallow. My brain kept saying ‘yes but, she doesn’t know how much I have going on’.
I feel that ‘coping with having so much to do’ is a part of my identity. The thought of moving on from that and not being busy any more was, and still is, tough to wrap my head around.
My coach tells me that detailed planning of my life and my day and throwing away my to do list creates freedom and takes away the busy feeling and overwhelm. I have yet to master this skill, but I wanted to share the practice...
Practising believing something you don’t yet believe, is like adding fuel to the fire if you are striving towards achieving a new goal, whether that is weight loss or something else. The first step to doing that is becoming aware of what you currently believe, what your current thoughts are.
Your brain likes to be efficient. It doesn’t like to think new things. Thinking new things takes a lot of energy. Your brain likes to think things it’s already thought before because those thoughts flow easily along well-worn super highway like neural pathways. New thoughts need to create their own new path. Your brain doesn’t judge between thoughts that are positive and wonderful and lovely. Your brain wants thoughts that are familiar.
And so, it doesn’t filter it out. It just says, well, we’ve thought that a lot so let’s keep thinking it. And it’s likely that some of those thoughts aren’t helping you and are in fact...
Buffering is something we do to avoid fully experiencing our lives. We don’t want to face the truth of our lives because we don’t want to experience negative emotion. We think we are entitled to feel happy all the time because we are constantly bombarded with ways to feel pleasure.
There is value to constraint: to less food, to less drinking, and to less stuff. Yet we’re sold on the idea of more. We feel like we need to eat more, drink more, and have more. Constraint is what being married is all about. We constrain ourselves to one person. This constraint gives us freedom from chatter in our brains and gives us the opportunity to focus on so many other things thatwe want to do with our lives.
I can remember feeling as though dinner time was the highlight of my day. I can remember self-medicating with food to make me feel better, a quick biscuit or chocolate here and there helped me to feel less stressed. I used to overeat when I went out for meals...
We’re so confused about how relationships work. We’re under the impression that other people need to behave a certain way so we can feel good.
We have so many rules for our relationships that we have stopped experiencing them and are locked into our expectations of how these relationships should be instead.
Our relationships are simply our thoughts about another person.
Let me give you an example. I have an imaginary friend, Justine, who I love. She’s amazingly fun, gorgeous, smart, funny, and loyal. However I’ve noticed that not everyone has these same exact thoughts about Justine. How is that possible? Justine is fun, gorgeous, smart, funny and loyal. Why doesn’t everyone who knows her think that she’s as amazing as I do?
Think about it. Someone else can know Justine and have a completely different relationship with her. Why? She hasn’t changed. Their relationship with her is dependent on their thoughts about...
Why do we want to feel our emotions? Yesterday’s blog post addressed how most of us resist our emotions, react to them, or distract ourselves from them. Today I am going to explore how we can learn to feel our emotions, how we can allow them to be there.
But first let me remind you why we want to do that. We typically avoid or distract ourselves feeling negative emotions because we don’t like how they feel. The problem is when we do this, we are giving more power to the negative emotion and it tends to grow out of proportion. Also, when we avoid negative emotions, we often do things that are not in our best interest like eat biscuits and crisp, drink, shop or gamble. We partake in these pleasure-seeking behaviours to avoid feeling the negative emotion, which may work for a while but then typically, if the avoiding behaviour has a net negative benefit, we end up feeling worse than we did to start with. Also, often when we react to an emotion, for example we maybe...
How long did it take you to answer that question?
Did you instantly know if you were happy, sad or mad, or a variant of one of those? We have 100s of feelings and emotions to choose from (note that consider feelings and emotions to be the same thing), but some of us are very unaware of our feelings. We don’t consider how they help or hinder us in getting the results that we want in our lives, even though everything we do, or don’t do, is because of how we want to feel. We want to lose weight because of how we think we will feel when we are slim, we want to eat the cookie because of how we imagine we will feel when we get a dopamine hit and sugar rush.
Feelings work is a major component of my weight loss program. I teach that there are four options when it comes to feeling a feeling.
The first thing we can do, and what most of us do if it is a negative feeling is resist that feeling. Many of us spend a lot of time resisting our...
Yesterday I wrote about saturated fats and what I suggest you consider with regards to whether to include them in your diet.
Today I will explore unsaturated fatty acids and consider how to ensure we are getting the right proportion of healthy fat in our diet.
Unsaturated fats are found in olive oil, nuts, sun flower seeds and oily fish such as salmon. They are usually liquid at room temperature.
The body can make all the fatty acids it needs except for two, known as alpha linolenic acid (omega-3) and linoleic acid (omega-6) fatty acids. These are called the Essential Fatty Acids (EFAs) and must be supplied in the diet. From these fatty acids we can make others which are important for health.
Essential fatty acids support the immune, cardiovascular, reproductive, and central nervous systems. They normalise cholesterol which promotes heart health, they keep blood sugar levels constant, which means that you have more energy, better mood and memory, and you...
I encourage my clients to eat plenty of healthy fats. Fats are one of the three macronutrients that provide energy and a host of other health benefits for our bodies. Fats are essential for growth and development, they nourish our skin, our hair, and our nails. They help us absorb fat-soluble vitamins, A, E, D, and K. They also regulate hormones and help us maintain a steady metabolism. Fat also provides cushioning for our organs, helps keep us warm, and certain fats reduce inflammation in the body.
As you are probably aware there are several different types of fats, there are trans-fats, saturated fats, unsaturated fats, and essential fatty acids, like Omega-3s and Omega-6s.
Well, let’s start with the lowest quality, the lowest quality and one to make sure to avoid is trans- fat. Trans-fats are reported to cause accelerated aging, heart disease, and cancer. Whilst some trans-fats occur naturally, most are manmade, and they are...
This is part two of two-part blog post. Check out part one posted yesterday.
Life is made up of the internal and the external. The thoughts in your brain create the reality in your life. You need to start organising your mind before you start organising your life; otherwise, the changes will only be temporary. Have you ever spent a bunch of time cleaning something up only to have it get messy again a few weeks later? That’s because you didn’t get to the thought work that’s causing the mess in the first place.
That’s what the thought work we covered yesterday will do. But now, I want to tell you how to get your things in order. Yes. Being organised matters. A lot. It’s all about increasing awareness and living deliberately. And I am bad at it. Really bad! This is an area of my life where there is room for massive improvement. I am a ‘could do better’ girl when it comes to taking control and organising my stuff.
I love packing away the winter coats, hats, gloves and scarves to make way for summer clothes. Not only does it lighten my draws and make space in my cupboards, I feel mentally lighter too.
This is part one of two-part blog post. Today I am writing about spring cleaning your mind, and tomorrow we will move onto areas of your life, like your home.
Did you know that you have about 60,000 thoughts a day? Many of them run subconsciously because they are efficient and repetitive. These ‘automated’ thoughts the brain does very well, and we don’t need to do anything with the ones that are useful for us, like instructions for walking.
However, it can be beneficial to consider organising the repetitive and automated thoughts that don’t serve us. These thoughts are often stuffed away, like some of your clothes in the back of your wardrobe. They seem harmless because you don’t really know what’s in there;...